What Happiness is ..by Stephanie Dowrick.
If someone offered you the chance to be happy for the rest of your life, would you take it? If you were told that you already have the power to bring happiness to others, would you believe it?
One of the most bizarre quirks of human existence is that we long for happiness, yet we have such difficulty defining what would make us happy or content in any lasting way. Spiritual teachings are clear we are unlikely to find lasting happiness through people or things outside ourselves. There will of course, be rewards when we are finally driving a new car, or marrying someone we genuinely love, but those delights are never permanent. The car wears out, the marriage may falter..their may be stress at work. Or we may have problems with our children, or our partner dies or loses their love for us.
One of the most bizarre quirks of human existence is that we long for happiness, yet we have such difficulty defining what would make us happy or content in any lasting way. Spiritual teachings are clear we are unlikely to find lasting happiness through people or things outside ourselves. There will of course, be rewards when we are finally driving a new car, or marrying someone we genuinely love, but those delights are never permanent. The car wears out, the marriage may falter..their may be stress at work. Or we may have problems with our children, or our partner dies or loses their love for us.
A more stable experience of happiness, say those teachers, can come only through recognizing how inevitably our lives overlap with and reflect the lives of other people – seeing ourselves in others and others in ourselves. From that vantage point it makes absolute sense to contribute what we can to the well being of all. In fact we recognize that our personal well-being cannot exist in isolation.
A Taoist verse invites us to reflect on life:
A Taoist verse invites us to reflect on life:
'The fragrance of blossoms soon passes
The ripeness of fruit is gone almost at once
Our time in this world is so short
The ripeness of fruit is gone almost at once
Our time in this world is so short
Better to avoid regret.
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If we grasp the truth of our own imminent mortality, surely we would more clearly treasure the gift of life. Surely we would more gently cultivate self-love, distinguishing it from self-absorption, and reach out to others from a full rather than an empty place?
Contemporary psychological research backs up those ancient teachings. The happiest people are those who value their own existence and can give to others without strain. They are the lucky people, but not necessarily in financial terms. Perception is everything here. Those who are confident they have plenty to share may have nothing in the bank. Equally those who feel too poor to share may have a healthy bank balance. We can more easily attain self-love when we unobtrusively meet other's needs.
When a lack of happiness arises from a sense of distance from others or from the boredom of thinking about no-one but yourself, then opening your eye's to others reality almost invariably brings a glimpse of what you are seeking.
And a promise of more joy to come.
And a promise of more joy to come.
From Stephanie Dowrick's book: 'Free Thinking'
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